When Peace Feels Uncomfortable: Reflections on Chaos and Stillness
As I stood at the grocery counter, chatting casually with the cashier, she dropped a comment that stopped me in my tracks: “I don’t like the peace here.”
For a second, I thought I’d misheard her. “You mean you don’t like the slow lifestyle here?” I asked, seeking clarification.
“No,” she replied with certainty. “I don’t like the peace and quiet.”
I smiled and walked away, carrying not just groceries but also a fresh perspective—true “food for thought.” Some crave the spice of chaos, while others seek the nourishment of stillness. This moment stirred memories of a conversation with a former colleague who once told me she thrived in chaos. I began to see a pattern. Many people stay in a state of constant turmoil—not because they want to, but because it’s familiar.
I’ve come to believe that the busyness of chaos can feel soothing in two main ways.
1. Familiarity Breeds Comfort For some people, chaos is all they’ve ever known. If you’ve grown up in an environment where stress, unpredictability, or emotional upheaval were the norm, peace might feel foreign—even threatening. I remember a childhood friend who would always seem uneasy during quiet moments. She’d often turn on the TV or music just to "fill the silence," saying it made her feel less anxious. Drama becomes the baseline, and calm feels like a disruption to that equilibrium.
2. The Fight-or-Flight Trap The second reason is rooted in neuroscience. Prolonged exposure to stress rewires the brain’s amygdala and prefrontal cortex, which process fear and decision-making. This rewiring makes the brain feel constantly on alert, keeping the body in a constant state of tension. Over time, this heightened awareness feels normal, while peace feels unsettling. The irony is that this "normal" is actually an overactive stress response.
The Discomfort of Peace When peace finally arrives, it’s not always welcome. Sitting still can feel like "doing nothing" — and in a world that celebrates hustle culture, "doing nothing" can seem like failure. But peace is not stagnation. It’s presence. It’s clarity. It’s a chance to hear your thoughts without the background noise of life’s chaos.
Why It Matters For those seeking growth or connection with their authentic selves, learning to be comfortable with peace is essential. Without it, life’s next move is reactive rather than intentional. Peace provides the pause we need to reflect, realign, and move forward strategically rather than haphazardly.
But finding comfort in peace is a process. It’s like retraining a muscle that’s been overworked in one direction. Some practical steps one can take to embrace peace include practicing mindfulness or meditation, engaging in breathwork to regulate the nervous system, and gradually introducing moments of stillness into daily routines. Journaling reflections on moments of peace can also help reframe it as a positive experience. With time and practice, peace can become as familiar as the chaos once was.
So if you’re one of those people who feel discomfort in peace, know that you’re not alone. Peace is not the enemy. It’s an invitation to meet yourself, to choose presence over panic, and to finally breathe.
If you’d like to explore this journey of finding comfort in peace, Dr. Jaspreet Soor offers personalized sessions that blend neuroscience, mindfulness, and holistic health practices. These sessions provide a safe space to unpack the roots of discomfort with stillness and discover practical strategies to embrace it. Book a session today and take the first step toward a more intentional, present, and peaceful life.